Most of us have been a victim of other people’s moods and have experienced negative behaviour from someone– and not been able to work out quite what we have done to upset them.
The thing is their negative moods may simply be an expression of their negative thoughts. And their negative thoughts maybe about something totally unrelated to us which they are acting out in their heads.
Of course maybe you have done something to upset them, and they are demonstrating this by being stand offish or sulky rather than by explaining their grievance.
But as we are not privy to their thoughts it’s not surprising that we are unable to understand what is going on and thank goodness their thoughts are actually none of our business. Dealing with our own thoughts are bad enough – let alone taking on board everyone else’s!
This then results in confusion and uncertainty, which then affects our thoughts and probably our own behaviour. We either get worried or cross about the way we perceive we are being treated, and so we end up having negative thoughts, which results in our own form of negative behaviour.
It is easy to see how this has a sort of domino effect. It becomes catching and everyone who comes into contact with this negative behaviour starts to feel fed up and miserable.
Negative behaviour is just like a highly infectious disease that travels from person to person and the scary thing is this may have all been prompted by a simple insignificant misunderstanding.
This kind of scenario can develop within the workplace, particularly when we are under pressure.
What Can We Do About Other Peoples Moods?
Actually nothing. What we can do is something about how we react to them.
Next time someone appears to be in bad mood for some unexplained reason which is troubling you, be extra especially nice to that person and act as if you have not noticed.
It maybe a little hard to do at first, but persevere. Don’t be sarcastic, just happy and positive. Make it your own secret game if you like, but be sure to be authentic.
This will give you a double whammy. Firstly, if they are feeling down, due to some other issues which are going on in their lives, you will be showing you care about them and you are not adding to their woes. And secondly if their negativity is consciously directed at you, there will be nothing more irritating than you being extra nice.
Annoyingly for them, you are not reinforcing their thoughts about you, and they are not gaining the reaction perhaps they are hoping for.
Happy thoughts are also contagious. Having happy positive thoughts, make us feel happy and contented. And as these “feel good moods” are equally as infectious as negative thoughts, they can have a really positive effect on others around us as well as ourselves.
Being consciously aware of our own thoughts and how they can influence our behaviour and those around us, has got to be one really good way of being much happier, content and more in control, whatever is going on in our lives.
Let’s face it, we may not be able to control everything that happens to us but we but we do have the choice of controlling how we deal with it.